Sunday, June 25, 2006

And you thought Magic 8 Balls were awesome!

If learning about your spiritual/physical future is too difficult for you to bear because those nasty little demonic cards and horoscopes are too "evil" for you to look at...then look no further. Now, fortune telling has been made easier and 'cuter' for the weak of heart to embrace. No longer will you be frightened by iconic images of death, daggers, naughty pentacles and staves! IMAGINE...learning that your life will end horribly and painfully; not by a seeing something EVIL drawn on a card but by something CUTE! And you can giggle all the way to the bank, because this trend among fortune tellers has yet to catch on! Help us help YOU by helping the world help themselves to cute, pretty pictures so that no one has to relate to anything ever again!

From the makers of Sideways Printed Books (because you're too TIRED to tilt your head and read!) comes the newest revolution in psychic HISTORY! Tarot Cards for Non-Believers!

Afterall, today is the tomorrow you forgot about yesterday! And wouldn't you rather someone ELSE tell you about tomorrow instead of learning patience and the element of surprise? I thought so. Not so fast, Pagans! Sooner than you think, everything you hold precious will be raped, pillaged and destroyed in the name of God (Hello Kitty), just like we did to Canterbury!